Flawed

Although we seem,
to hate ourselves now,
we all seem to think,
we're all big, fat cows,
We actually just want to be loved, in a way.
Told we aren't fat,
told we can stay.
Flawed and imperfect,
to all of the world.
All we want,
is our toes to be curled.
We want you to love,
all we dislike,
to see it in light,
to see it in sight.
We lift ourselves up,
stand proud and tall,
our chins in the air,
as all our faults stall.
Our hair all done up,
our make-up unflawed,
although later we know,
it will melt within sobs.
Our hair will bun up as we pet our black cats,
we all want a guy,
who will understand that.

Catch 22 of Life

Stuck between a rock and a hard place,
mexican standoff,
guns in hand.
Who will shoot first?
Who will crack under the pressure?
Death or cause death,
only options, both unspeakable,
Catch 22 of life.

Stuck between bad and bad,
no wins, only losses,
life flashes,
I am standing by a coffin.
Life flashes,
I am in the limbo,
back to hell or the equivalent?
Heaven is loving.
Catch 22 of life.

Stuck between choices,
choices of hate,
choices of pain.
Of only losses.
Or,
of choices of choosing happiness.
Happiness can be crushed, wrecked,
but not better is the equivalent hells.
Catch 22 of life.

Funny Stuff

Christmas is coming! My family and many others are so excited. My favorite part of this season is that every kid in the world, whether waiting for Papa Noel, Saint Nick, or Santa, is bouncing in their seats! They're all so excited, and its ADORABLE! Anyways, I discovered something today! Its called "The Urban Dictionary," and its hilarious.

1.	Marney
	Marney is about determination and love. She is kind, always there for others, and is incredibly beautiful. Marney is a very strong woman. An apple of someone's eye.
2.	Marney
	A girl with a sweet smile and charming personality that makes every boy's heart race. She's clouded by innocence and is often found with her head up in the clouds. She always has a bounce in her step and a happy-go-lucky outlook that seems to make everyone enjoy her company. Marney is like the innocent, sweet memories of your childhood. This is what came up when I put my name in! There are tons of hilarious definitions and videos on here...  enjoy!

R.I.P. Skipps

Now I lay Skipps to sleep,
I pray the Lord her soul to keep,
and if she hurts,
I know shes safe,
nor now her soul is,
 in a better place.

For the tears I cry are not of pain,
but of joy.
For now I know she is okay,
Now she is safe and warm.
No more suffering,
 no more pain.
Now she is in a better place.
Of warmth and of happiness.
Her soul is at peace.

But now comes the biggest test,
to show her I am strong.
Not for me,
but for her.
Tell her I love her and its okay.
you are going to a better place.
Now close your eyes,
and rest your soul.
Ill be okay, don't worry about me.

My friend Marissa texted me this today. She was distraught because her pet mouse had died, and she was in pain. There was nothing that could be done for Skipps... So she said a prayer and buried her in her backyard. These texts deserve to be on here, no matter what. They are from her heart and soul... written while tears were coming from her beautiful blue eyes... there isn't anything I can say to make Skipps come back, or replace the love she was given and gave in return, but I can say that I am sorry she had to go so soon, but I am happy shes in a better place :) Pray for Skipps, and her poor innocent soul, to be happy, for my Marissas sake. I love you Marissa. Ill miss you Skipps.

<3 R.I.P Skipps <3

Types of Love

                         -Love-

A strong feeling of personal attachment between friends or family members. 

True Love- Total communication and commitment between two people 

                - Realistic, Does not expect perfection

                - Eager to share thoughts, activities

                - Think in terms of "we"

Friendly Love- Grows throughout the years

                      - Neither passionate and consuming or hostile and hurtful 

                      - Usually the base for other relationships

Tender Lover- Happy and satisfying 

                      - Makes people feel warm and happy

Jealous Love- Possesive love

                    - Jealously a lack of immaturity and insecurity 

                    - Parter keeps other partner very close

                   - Relationship not able to grow and spread, as well as other relationships.

                   - Friendships suffer because of it

Passionate Love- Vigorous, insistent and urgent

                          - Centers on sexual part of relationship

                          - Often can be selfish with little concern for other partner

                          - By itself, tempestuous and exhausting

                          - With other forms of love, exhilarating and fufilling 

Hostile Love- Frequently raises voice in anger at other lover

                    - Emotions of love and hate closely related 

                    - Hurtful and exhausting

Unreturned Love- Unfufilling, Frusturating and Hurtful

Infatuation- Often mistaken for love

                  - Begins quickly, ends quickly

I Fear

As I learn,
I fear.
I fear the ideas of hate, crime,
death.
I fear the realities of hurricanes,
screams of pain,
of horror.
Water unwelcome,
washing all in bleak blue,
darkness.
Murky, gunk- filled darkness.

As I learn,
 I fear.
I fear the guns,
 the weapons.
the anger,
 through which we pull,
pull the little half moon,
causing pain, death, hate.
Ripping flesh, spraying blood,
what have we not to fear?

As I learn,
I gain strenghth.
I begin to not be afraid,
 fear subsiding, hope sustaining.
I will fight for my safety.
Fear will not overcome me.
 I will learn,
and I will hope. 

Pancake Cinnamon Rolls

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2MI1cg/www.recipegirl.com/2011/03/01/cinnamon-roll-pancakes/

These wonderful creations are called "Cinnamon-Roll Pancakes."  I have yet to make them, but I have not looked at one of these pictures without my mouth watering so far, so tommorrow morning scoot yourselves over to my place, cause they'll be there!! Soooo yummmy!

 
 

>Ohhhhh myyyyy gooodddd I COULD not resist not sharing this...<

Happiness Quotes

Happiness is a choice. You can choose to be happy or you can focus on the sad things in life.

No one really cares if your miserable, so you might as well be happy!

Real elation is when you feel you could touch a star without standing on tiptoe. 

Jumping for joy is good excersise

Misery is always the result of thinking

Unhappiness is not knowing what we want and killing ourselves to get it

Happiness is a function of accepting what is.

Pleasure is very seldom found where it is sought.  Our brightest blazes are commonly kindled by unexpected sparks

 "Happiness is like a butterfly.

The more you chase it, the more it eludes you.

But if you turn your attention to other things,

It comes and sits softly on your shoulder."

I remember hearing in a talk that the more we express our gratitude to God for our blessings, the more he will bring to our mind other blessings. The more we are aware of to be grateful for, the happier we become."

"To be happy, one must rid oneself of prejudice, be virtuous, healthy, and have a capacity for enjoyment and for passion ..."

A person is never happy except at the price of some ignorance

What would our world be like if we ceased to worry about "right" and "wrong," or "good" and "evil," and simply acted so as to maximize well-being, our own and that of others? Would we lose anything important?

No one is in control of your happiness but you; therefore, you have the power to change anything about yourself or your life that you want to change.

Being happy is something you have to learn. I often surprise myself by saying "Wow, this is it. I guess I'm happy. I got a home I love. A career that I love. I'm even feeling more and more at peace with myself." If there's something else to happiness, let me know. I'm ambitious for that, too.

“Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.”

[Peace] is the highest and most strenuous act of the soul, but an entirely harmonious act, in which all our powers and affections are blending in a beautiful proportion, and sustain and perfect one another. It is more than the silence after storms. It is as the concord of all melodious sounds ... an alliance of love with all beings, a sympathy with all that is pure and happy, a surrender of every separate will and interest, a participation of the spirit and life of the universe.... This is peace, and the true happiness of [humanity]

."Ten Spiritual Tonics

1. Stop worrying. Worry kills life.

2. Begin each day with a prayer. It will arm your soul.

3. Control appetite. Over-indulgence clogs body and mind.

4. Accept your limitations . . .

5. Don't envy. It wastes time and energy.

6. Have faith in people. Cynicism sours the disposition.

7. Find a hobby. It will relax your nerves.

8. Read a book a week to stimulate imagination and broaden your views.

9. Spend some time alone for the peace of solitude and silence.

10. Try to want what you have, instead of spending your strength trying to get what you want."

Steam

   "He needs to blow off some steam." Have you heard this expression before? Most likely you have, usually when someone is angry or frusturated, they are told to go blow off some steam, right? They need to calm down, and there are many different ways of doing this. Some go outside for some fresh air, some need to hit something, and some just need a few deeps breaths and an excellent poker face. What I have observed this past year is violence. Violence, violence, violence. Gangs everywhere, murders, domestic violence everywhere, homicides, serial killers, police brutality. Its everywhere, and a lot of these incidents happen when anger and frustration conquer the mind... that all you can think about is how that person, or thing, should suffer for its mistake, or stupidity. Had many of these people known how to conquer the anger by blowing off steam, by calming down, they would have been able to clearly see the situation, and do something productive, not get there asses thrown in jail or fired. However, another part of the puzzle is that some people have been trained to act with violence. Gang members let their feeling control them, because they have been "trained" to do it. Police officers are trained to use force and violence. They can't let their steam go because they will get hurt without it.  Think about it.

Passion

As tears sting my eyes,
I try not to let you see them,
I try to fake being happy,
fake smiling,
and you just think I am being shy.
I try to hide my emotions,
not let anyone see the real me,
the depressed, lonely, person inside.

I hold myself back,
who am I?
I say I know I am depressed and sad,
but do I really know me?
Can I answer questions with ease still?
Do I know how to take care of myself?
It is hard being me sometimes,
but through surrender and heartache I prevail.

No one loves ME,
the true me,
the one who would let anyone hurt her,
would open up her heart
for friendship and love.
The one who wears her heart on her sleeve.
The one who secretly cries,
not only for herself, but for others to.
The one who cares more then she is willing to admit.

> This applies to almost every girl.. no matter how tough. Not just me, not just the softies... this is every girl. every girl thinks they arent loved, or beautiful, and every girl has some sadness inside.. remember this<

Think

Think before you see,
think before you feel,
think before you act,
think before you steal.
Think before the troubles come,
think before the damage done,
 think before you want to act,
think before you go off track.
Think before the tides are high,
think before you want to die.
Think before you push the pills,
think before you do your will.
think before the triggers back,
think before the world goes black.
Think about the life you live,
think about the love you give,
think back to the good times now,
live another day,
here more people say wow!
Cause if you want to do something bad,
think about your actions,
and dont make others sad!


>Ill probably edit this one soon.. kind of a crappy ending but ill get it later after makin up some sleep...<

Outside

I know what I believe inside,
So why do I not follow my practices outside?
Because insides and outsides are opposite,
different, unable to coexist.

Our beliefs can be expressed,
let in, out, occasionally.
As when a door is opened,
in a house.
The furniture,
beautiful, pristine, unique.
As our beliefs are in our mind.

But what happens when we put our beliefs,
our belongings, outside?
They start perfectly fine,
strong, sturdy, able to withstand.
At first.

They fade fast, tarnishing, dying.

Past Lessons

Past Lessons have a part in all our lives. I haven't posted in awhile, but instead of sharing on this blog the little I knew then, I have been gaining experience throughout the summer to share even more. I not only attended a play, I helped behind the scenes and learned the importance of teamwork. Without the two amazingly patient directors to lead, the smaller children to dance in front of us frantically changing scenes, without the cast working together on stage and helping each other with lines and applying makeup, the play would have fallen apart completely. Its like a food chain. One cast member quits, or one animal species dies out, the whole thing dissolves slowly. It doesn't work without teamwork and reliance on other people. So, I would like to share with you some past lessons you may have forgotten about, starting with the importance of teamwork. Interpret them as deeply or as shallow as you wish.

-Touching a hot stove results in being burned.

-Motherly instincts are always there, it doesn't matter who is in question.

-Forgive and forget and a light will be lit, sparks will fly and hate will say good-bye, a friend will be made or a friendship will be saved, the weight will be lifted and the guilt will be sifted.

-Play in the mud and you'll get dirty.

-Don't play with fire.

-TV is not real

Taylor Swift + Jack Daniels = Ke$ha
> http://www.damnlol.com/taylor-swift-jack-daniels-kesha-43.html<

-Actions have consequences

Going Gaga

  

       I cannot get over Lady Gaga's hair/normal talking voice/ egg carraige thing/ mind/ shoes/ makeup/ songs/ face/ clothes. I guess thats the point, because she is now NUMBER 1 MOST GOOGLED WOMAN ON THE INTERNET. So what if she has her own way of looking at things? So did Marilyn Monroe, Emily Dickson, Elvis Presely, Micheal Jackson and Heath Ledger. So let us not make fun of this genius because she truly is one. I mean who the hell would think of these shoes besides her? GENIUS

Must I say it? Lady Gaga does indeed have the world spinning with her style, her new ideas, her "way" if you will, and her unfailing attempts to put the world in its place. I once heard a friend say " Haters make me famous, bitch, so suck it," and lets just say Lady Gaga does indeed have some haters ( formally known as all heliocopter parents EVER). I mean, who else would come up with these shoes, let alone have to stamina and/or stability and/or bravery to walk in them!? That is what I call a brave woman. 
I have, however, always wondered if her strange, yet truly amazing affinity for shoes, particulary tall heels, is because she is actually very short? Or just moderately short? I mean, someone NEEDS to look into that!

Although her shoes are.... VERY hard to walk in, I still would love to wear them if I wasn't a lowly college student, looking for absolutely NO attention. My favorites are the following...... XD




I absolutely LOVE the pink ones, mainly because of the string :D The string just ties the whole thing up!(Lol, I actually did not mean do that until I edited this!!) They would go with anything except long pants, and fishnets are a MUST with these! The black strappy heels look amazing in a cop kind of outfit, mabey a jailed person sort of? I love them! They also have a built in protection from falling out of them! Perfect! The red tights, although they look suicidal, if you think about it would be easy to walk in, because they have a platform at the bootom, plus putting on a slutty attire for your boyfriend would go good with these tights :P They also make a statement with their bright red color! ABSOLUTELY amazing!

Lady Gaga has also been known to set makeup trends, especially trends that are ILLEGAL in the U.S. (Okay, so I have only heard of one, but still) and can only be ordered online. For instance, her contacts in one of her music videos gave her "Deer in the Headlights" eyes.  Teenage girls seem to think that these contacts, $20 bucks last time I checked, are not going to harm their eyes in any way more than a normal contact. Yeah right.

 

I Can See

I can see,
even through my shades,
the world is a beautiful,
beautiful place.
No where else to go,
no where else to be
so let us stay,
just stay and see.

Trees in the wind,
swaying with grace,
the world is a beautiful,
beautiful place.
Flowers in meadows,
colored and bright,
it really is,
such a wonderful sight.

Soon to be updated as soon as I find the paper I jotted this down on :P 

 

My Little Playlist Of Inspiration

Hero by Superchick
This band is one of the few bands that writes many of their songs about bullying, and the problems of the world. This song is about how someone COULD be a hero, yet most aren't. Its about what some people suffer through and how you could make a difference by being kind to them, and being a hero in the process, because it might just save their life.

Stand In The Rain by Superchick
This song is telling you that you should stand up and defend yourself, that you should stand "through the pain" because if you do, it might have good results, but it won't kill you if you do. Amazing, amazing band. :)

Courage by Superchick
All about Anorexia, Bulimia, and having the courage to stop, stand up and feel beautiful. To stop starving yourself and throwing up after you eat. To have the courage to learn to know your beautiful the easy way.

Firework by Katy Perry
She is singing all about how you shouldn't let your talents and emotions stay bottled up inside of you, and that you AREN'T boring and just need to let it out. For the making of this video, she brought out 200 kids who were sick, different, or were just very talented to help her shoot the video. I am not kidding, there were TEARS from her when she saw them! She is also an amazing person!

We R Who We R by Ke$ha
Ok, so she acts like a drunken whore most of the time. This is her defense, and even if it is about dancing and clubs and her videos a little racy, it still gets the point across. She is who she is. You are who you are.

First Fight

     Our first fight, how was I going to deal with this? How was I going to go on without him? Question ran through my mind, each as quick as lightning, only to be replaced by another as I stomped away from him. I looked over my shoulder, searching for any signs he had given up. As he watched me move away, I saw tears form in his eyes, leaking over, his shoulders slumped, his face was one of absolute sadness, loneliness. He looked exactly like I felt. Like I knew I looked.

      I could feel the tears running down my face, feel my steps grow slower, weaker. I reached his front doorstep, and ran. Ran away from him. Ran away from our argument. The sidewalk blurred from my crappy tear-vision, the sun was a blinding light bouncing off the pavement, my arms were flailing limbs, useless in my stricken state, my legs were jelly, bouncy and mildly supportive, how did I know a simple request would create a useless being, hollow with loneliness?

     My feet could hold me no longer as I collapsed in a heap on my couch, pausing only to sob hysterically into the phone for Becca to come over. Then, curling up into a ball, I rocked myself until Becca arrived, and I could sob the rest of the story to her...

"He said.... she was.. only a fr..rr..riend! Then I found him emailing her, text..ing her, calling her, and I coul... couldn't take it! I just to.. told him right now that he ne..e..eds to choose her or me, and he yelled, I yelled. Most of what he said was "Its nothing!" M.. mos..ost of what I said was "Then why are you sppp.. spending so much time talking to hee.. her?"

     As Becca softly rocked me and murmered to me, my lighting quick thoughts didn't slow one bit. How was I going to fix this? How am I going to get him back, if he even wants me now that I am out of the way and he has full access to her?  
What am I not seeing?

(This is a continuing story..please tell me how the first part is going! Thanks :D)

Layers Upon Layers

Layers upon layers cover me,
a different one for each person.
I might peel back layers for my friends,
even remove some for close friends,
yet what is my real color?
what is the layer that has no further layers upon myself?

It is so far gone,
no one can remember,
not even myself.
Ive not only been painted by others,
ive been molded, shaped,
into something I can't understand,
a protective substance surrounding me,
removable, yet firm, grasping.

Layers upon layers cover me,
molded into a human shape,
a brain made of worry and hurt,
molded into a shield,
always up, always protecting, always lying,
to avoid pain, suffering.
How can I remove that?

You find one you trust,
one who can remove the layers upon layers,
one your shield lets it guard down around,
the one you find it hard to lie to,
to protect yourself from.
They become your shield,
and you theres.

Layers upon layers cover me,
being peeled back,
being removed,
being remembered for who I really am.

My final layer is now showing.
the shape, the color, the real me, i cannot tell you.
For it has a shield.
A special part of myself protected by another.

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Perfection

You know how everything seems perfect in movies, except for the main characters conflict? Perfect beaches, perfect weather, perfect clothes, perfect makeup, perfect people... Well, it not perfect. GET WITH THE PROGRAM people!!!! Those are MOVIES< staged films! The world we live in is not perfect. Nor are we... we live in a world of peaceful ignorance. This day and age, we are very, I don't know, selfish? We think about our own personal needs above those of others, or the earth. For instance, I saw a girl the other day who was complaining about how we are killing the earth, and then she got in her car and drove off. Perhaps we are more ignorant of the "big picture" then of the here and now. Driving a car=Less work for ourselves/ saving time but in that effect we are also polluting the air we breathe. Circle of life and whatnot...

However, the focus on ourselves also causes much concern on our world. Anorexia and Bulimia are common in todays younger people, say 14 to about 25 years of age, and that stems from thinking you are not perfect, but fat. Or you want the compliments to make yourself feel good. Basically, you feel you "need" to do it to be accepted. Heres a link to a story that convinced me to NEVER throw up on purpose or to not eat. Page 232.

http://books.google.com/books?id=6eQVoEBbp4oC&pg=PA232&source=gbs_toc_r&cad=4#v=onepage&q&f=false


 

Quotes of Peace, Love, Humanity, Life, and Laughing

PEACE

Yes, we love peace, but we are not willing to take wounds for it, as we are for war.  ~John Andrew Holmes

We have all taken risks in the making of war.  Isn't it time that we should take risks to secure peace?  ~J. Ramsay MacDonald

Peace cannot be achieved through violence, it can only be attained through understanding.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

If they want peace, nations should avoid the pin-pricks that precede cannon shots.  ~Napoleon Bonaparte

LOVE  ( In Honor of Valentines Day)
If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you've made me smile, the entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand~ Unknown

"You know you truly love someone when everyday you meet is like the first time you fall in love." ~ Unknown

" My bounty is as boundless as the sea, my love as deep; the more I give to thee, the more I have, for both are infinite."
" So long as I can breathe or I can see, so long lives your love which gives life to me."
 " When you depart from me sorrow abides, and happiness takes his leave."
 " Love from one side hurts, but love from two sides heals."
 " So dear I love him that with him, all deaths I could endure. Without him, live no life."
" If music be the food of love, play on."
 " Hear my soul speak. Of the very instant that I saw you, Did my heart fly at your service."
" I love you more than words can wield the matter, Dearer than eyesight, space and liberty "
" Doubt that the stars are fire, Doubt that the sun doth move his aides, Doubt truth to be a liar, But never doubt I love."
" I would not wish any companion in the world but you ~ All From Shakespeare's Works

HUMANITY 

"Individually we are one drop, together we are an ocean" (Where did you think the cavemen all went? lololololol) ~ Unknown

"The only way to comprehend what mathmeticians mean by Infinity is to contemplate the extent of human stupidity" ~ Unknown

"When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion"

"The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast"

LIFE 

Just living is not enough. One must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower.
~Hans Christian Andersen

Life is a ticket to the greatest show on earth. ~Martin H. Fischer

What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare? ~W. H. Davies
Leisure.

The healthiest response to life is joy. ~Deepak Chopra

When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best...
And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life.
~Monty Python's Life of Brian

The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth. ~Chinese Proverb

What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. These are but trifles, to be sure; but, scattered along life's pathway, the good they do is inconceivable.
~Joseph Addison

We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools.
~Martin Luther King, Jr.

Life is like a coin. You can spend it any way you wish, but you only spend it once.
~Lillian Dickson

There is no wealth but life.
~John Ruskin

The Best Things in Life are Free.
~B.G. DeSylva, Lew Brown, and Ray Henderson


Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. The consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and richness to life that nothing else can bring.
~Oscar Wilde

Here's to a long life and a merry one
A quick death and an easy one
A pretty girl and an honest one
A cold beer and another one!
~Irish Saying

The goal of life is living in agreement with nature.
~Zeno

Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about.
~Oscar Wilde

Where there is love there is life.
~Indira Gandhi

To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funnybone.
~Reba McEntire

Laughing

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.  ~Woody Allen

At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities.  ~Jean Houston

Even if there is nothing to laugh about, laugh on credit.  ~Author Unknown

Mirth is God's medicine.  Everybody ought to bathe in it.  ~Henry Ward Beecher

Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.  ~Jack Handey, "Deep Thoughts," Saturday Night Live

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.  ~e.e. cummings

Laughter is an instant vacation.  ~Milton Berle

What monstrous absurdities and paradoxes have resisted whole batteries of serious arguments, and then crumbled swiftly into dust before the ringing death-knell of a laugh!  ~Agnes Repplier

So many tangles in life are ultimately hopeless that we have no appropriate sword other than laughter.  ~Gordon W. Allport

Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.  ~Victor Borge

What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul.  ~Yiddish Proverb

When people are laughing, they're generally not killing each other.  ~Alan Alda

Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion.  I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.  ~Kurt Vonnegut

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor's book.  ~Irish Proverb

Laughter gives us distance.  It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on.  ~Bob Newhart

A hearty laugh gives one a dry cleaning, while a good cry is a wet wash.  ~Puzant Kevork Thomajan

There can never be enough said of the virtues, dangers, the power of a shared laugh.  ~Françoise Sagan




<3 <3  <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Choices

We all have to make our own decisions, our own choices. We have to have the will to live, to decide to live our lives. We have to decide our own choices. Where would we be without freewill? Freewill is what enables us to make our own choices, to lead our own lives, make our own mistakes. We would all be lifeless robots were it not for our freewill.

No One Wants To Die

You may think that there are people out there that WANT to die, for instance suicidal people, however all they want to do is get rid of a problem. I had a dream last night (haha so NOT copying) and it consisted of me getting older. A certain song came with it. A song that creeped me out, and I wanted it to stop:

Suddenly 14,
Suddenly 15,
suddenly 16,
suddenly 17,
suddenly 18,
suddenly 19,
suddenly 20,
suddenly 21,

And it was in this weird creepy voice, like in Hush (Buffy the Vampire Slayer), the one episode of BTVS that was silent cause the stupid demons took away everyones voice. Then Buffy as a little girl sang this really creepy song. It was exactly like that, and made me realize I don't WANT to get older :'( It made me think about all the good times ive had as a child, and all the good times I want to have now, and I don't want them to go away. :( I don't want them to turn into memories.... I dont want to die!!!!! :'''( So, for all those who are thinking the same thing as me, that they don't want to die, do you think that just sitting back and enjoying the world we live in and thinking, "Oh, well all those service people will take care of pollution, and I am sure I won't make much of a difference if I just drive my car to work and the Supermarket and to the Kids Friends houses..... or if I use all my electricity, I wont be the only one, right? I won't make much of a difference..." well your wrong. Save the Earth. Join together and have a T.V. free day with your kid's school, or turn off all your electricity for a day, because it DOES make a difference, the choices you make. I'll give you a comparison: " Oh, If I just have a whole cake, my body won't gain any weight, oh, and if I just have a whole tub of ice cream, it will be ok because some one else will take care of it, and if I just eat 10 bags of potato chips, it won't make any difference..."  It DOES make a difference people, and you can't help enough. We WILL all die sooner or later, but does it have to be sooner?

Our World

Open your eyes,

and look around.

 Theres a world to be seen,

a world to be found.

Not always good,

yet not always bad.

Not always happy,

but not ever sad.

A World is waiting,

for you to see,

the beauty within,

the beauty it can be.

Beauty in nature,

beauty in sounds,

beauty in heavens,

beauty in grounds.

Yet world we see,

is not in true form,

so open you eyes,

and stop to mourn.

Our world is dying,

what will you do?

will you sit there and worry,

will you let this stew?

Open your eyes,

and look around,

theres a world to be seen,

a world to be found.

Not always good,

but starting to go bad,

a dying world,

now that, that is sad.

We Live

We live,
we love,
we laugh,
we hope,
we fight,
we think,
we feel,
we live.

Changing

I feel like im on a different planet. No one sees me as I stumble through the hall, invisible to all. No cheery hellos, no happy couples kissing against the lockers, no shouts of laughter. Everything might as well be a black and white youtube video, for all anyone reacted. Yet I felt like something was missing still, like a person took away my hand and only left a stump. I feel a tug on my stomach, like someone was pulling my being, over to one girl, an absolutely beautiful girl, with a smile plastered on her face. She turned around, books in her hands, and stopped dead when she saw me. Eyes wide, she looked around her, then she looked back at me, plastered onto her gorgeous face a look of absolute hate. Her books fell to the floor as her hands clenched at her sides. "You caused this! YOU caused this!" she yelled at me, a perfectly manicured pointer finger sticking out at me. "What are you talking about?" I yell back. "I didn't do anything!". "But if your here, and I am here... then..". I watched with surprise as her scowl turned to smugness, and again I got that tugging sensation, but this time my eyes responded. "Oh, I see, your new." My eyes zone in on her teeth, in which something is gleaming, unnaturely sharp. This can't be true. I couldn't have just saw..fangs, could I? "O I seeee you haven't even been changed yet! Well.. I can help with that little bit.." She said smugly. The sharp points grew bigger. The last thing I remember is her lunging at my neck.

Flying On The Ground

I close my eyes,
now bright and seeing,
imagining the wind,
lifting my arms as if to soar,
dig my toes into the ground as if to push.

Yet I do not,
my arms slap down to my sides,
useless for flying,
my ears stick out uselessly for echos,
tiny and unclear,
no sound waves fly back at me as my voice,
deep and unpitched,
flys away from me.

Bringing only greif,
I am stuck.
bound by gravity,
controlled, monitored,
by a dying circle of life,
I am an earthbound,
no one to anyone,
one of many,
yet unseen, unheard,
useless.

Walking Down The Street

Walking down the street,
I see a homeless man,
No shoes, no coat, no house,
Holding out a pan.

Walking down the street,
I see an empty pan,
I look up into the eyes,
of a desperate, hungry man.

Walking down the street,
I see a lonely chair,
empty from the previous day,
of its only occupants stare.

Walking down the street,
I pass a t.v. store,
a familar face is there,
I stop to look for more.

Walking down the street,
That man I saw that day,
had died of an empty belly,
if I  had only had sense to pay,
where would he be today?