Leave me and love me,
tears may fall,
the world is crushed as I see,
as I shout out one last call.
Pain wells up inside,
the gates close,
faith my love now as we divide,
inside a tumble of woes.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Time
Life moves fast,
as we whirl through,
stopping briefly,
living in fear, dying in love,
singing our pain,
writing, drawing, speaking,
never to stop and see,
admire beauty that waits for thee.
Time flies by,
always moving so quick,
much to quickly,
some wasted, some forgotten,
golden years sought,
living, loving, losing,
never to close our eyes,
serenity as our demise.
as we whirl through,
stopping briefly,
living in fear, dying in love,
singing our pain,
writing, drawing, speaking,
never to stop and see,
admire beauty that waits for thee.
Time flies by,
always moving so quick,
much to quickly,
some wasted, some forgotten,
golden years sought,
living, loving, losing,
never to close our eyes,
serenity as our demise.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Time of Future and Past
The changes of everyday life, the decisions and the emotions that coast
through our bodies; Love, hate, sex, sadness, happiness, friendships, 
relationships, the history of
our minds and the futuristic presence of our bodies and the realization of this
is what makes us who we 
are. We can't change history, we can't live again when time has already passed, and as we swirl through the emotions and love of future and past, we find that in ourselves, the time has already come and gone again.
As time moves by, we are all in place, stuck between the fabrics of who we are and what we will be. Sunday, March 18, 2012
Understanding
Its amazing the depths and curves and twists of love and hate and emotion and the feeling of everything building up inside of you so passionately that a relationship holds. A movie, or a TV show can try to capture that within scenes, a writer can describe it with a thousand words, an artist can paint the swirls of two people together, entwined within and around each other, but it does no good. Man and man, woman and woman, man and women, nothing makes a difference, the only true understanding can be found within the swells of your own heart, the screaming inside only one that can drive you to madness can hear and cause. Only by experience can you begin to understand the expanse of time and love as they intertwine. The fluid motion of twisting and turning and melting within hearts and souls. The feeling of being together, forever and always, as time and space separate you. Love is pain, pain is the effect of time, fading and sharpening with the years, time is the love shared, incapacitated as it spreads. Who's to say it is not amazing?
Rain
Kiss me in the rain,
hold me to your own,
love my heart,
love my all,
be my own monster,
protect me from me,
as the rain falls,
between our bodies,
be the one I feel,
the only one I love.
The tears fall,
the rain beside it,
laughing with the sorrow,
the pain of others melting,
the love of one close by,
Healing with understanding,
feeling with lonely hope,
the pain between us shared,
no understanding of others,
only here, only now,
do I dare to love again.
hold me to your own,
love my heart,
love my all,
be my own monster,
protect me from me,
as the rain falls,
between our bodies,
be the one I feel,
the only one I love.
The tears fall,
the rain beside it,
laughing with the sorrow,
the pain of others melting,
the love of one close by,
Healing with understanding,
feeling with lonely hope,
the pain between us shared,
no understanding of others,
only here, only now,
do I dare to love again.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
"An Offering To A New Way of Life" by Morgan Cook
Written by Morgan Cook, this is an inspirational speech about his life and about how you should live your life happy and smiling :) This really spoke to me and a lot of other people, and when it is released to the public on March 24, it will speak to a whole lot of other people as well. I truly believe that what he is saying is true, so see for yourself. Have a happy life...
A large problem with people today is that nobody sees the happy things in their lives. Have you ever found yourself asking: "Where did all the happiness go?"?
The answer is that the happiness has never left; Its always been there. We've just been too blind to see it, even though it has been standing right in front of us.
What I am trying to say is that the people of today are so shrouded in darkness... Wouldn't you agree? With work and co workers, perhaps marital problems, a death or sickness within the family, or maybe just having a "bad day". Well what would you say if I said that I have a way to get rid of all that dark, unpleasant, and just plain negative thinking?
Well, I am here to shed some light on the subject. "How?" you may ask. It's actually quite simple. All you have to do is follow 20 steps and once Ii explain each one, if you truly follow it, you can never have a bad day.
Have you ever noticed people say, "Its not that easy" when you try to cheer them up when they are faced with emotional turmoil? Well, just know that they are lying because it is actually that easy; It just takes some minor attitude adjustments that people just dont want put effort into.
Now I am going to share a story of mine that caused me to create this way of living.
I was 16, and it was the week of the famous Homecoming Dance 2011 and I was with, what I thought, was the girl of my dreams (who will remained unnamed). I had been with this girl for what would've been a year and a half that month, so Ii wanted to make homecoming amazing. Just magical. So I decided to make dinner and dessert for myself and her. Everything was perfect; the dinner was cooked to restaurant standard and the dessert (creme brulee) was moist and subtle. She loved it, and I was proud of myself.
Now, fast forward a tad. I'm at Homecoming and its about halfway through the night. One of our friends had come up to us and told us that she caught her date cheating on her. When I heard this, my first reaction was to talk to him and confront him about how hurt she was, but she didnt want me to; Saying that there was nothing I could do. Hearing this, something snapped in my head and I stormed off, mad at the feeling of helplessness. I had punched a wall on my way out. Little did I know how much of an effect that would have in the near future...
Well about a week later, me and my girl were talking about the whole incident: me punching the wall(She had asked for time to think about it; Hence the time lapse.) and how it had scared her very badly. So, with the abstract, inescapable fear of our relationship turning abusive, she decided to break it off the day before our 1 year-and-a-half anniversary.
When she had delivered this news, I was just completely stunned. I just didn't know what I was going to do without her in my life. So, I sank into a very painful depression...
This would last for two months before I fully recovered; And in those two months, I had attempted Desensitization; trying to rid my body of the emotion known as anger, and, as a result of this depression, I had stopped eating and sleeping almost completely (with about 3 day intervals; Afterward, I would pass out, due to lack of nutrients in the body).
Fast forward again to the day I deem myself back on my feet and ready to face the world. What had caused this was the fact that I'd had a dream the night before, which had shown me a revelation within myself. So, now that I was back on my feet, I still didnt know what I was going to do. But, I knew I had to find a new way of living, because I knew that what I had now was only going to lead to worse things in the future. So, I did some research on how famous philosophers lived and thought: "Maybe I could relate to that and build myself around that". I had found that the writings of Ralph Waldo Emerson and Henry David Thoreau were something I could really connect myself to; A sort of peaceful way of life, in which self acceptance and acceptance for others was the main focus. So, I had sampled their teachings for a few weeks and found that it had made a great deal of sense. So, I created this writing through their teachings, and through experiences I'd had with my friends.
The aforementioned piece is called: The 20 Commandments of Emotional Control
Ok, so Commandment #1: "Don't let the little things bother you."
What this is saying is, that no matter how bad things may seem, they may not be as bad as you are thinking. So, for instance; Say its just a bad day: Its gray and raining, you have a test you didnt study for(that you know your gonna fail). Girls, you can't get your hair to do what you want; And guys, you just can't get that girl you like to talk to you. You can all relate to that, right? Well, here is where this commandment comes into play. All those things can be fixed by simply saying, "Oh Well". Just brush yourself off and move on, because all those things are really nothing to worry about. When you get down to it, that test your going to fail: just take it again; And if you can't, then just make some extra credit. And girls, with the hair: Just try again tomorrow; And for the guys, just relax and try, try again. And as for the rain, well thats just the way the weather works; So instead of letting it bring you down, just run out into it and dance in the rain! It truly is as simple as that; Just look at the things and say, "Oh well" if you can fix it, and, if you can't, that leads to the next three commandments...
For those of you who know the "Serenity Prayer" by Reinhold Niebuhr, that is what these next 3 commandments are about.
So, Commandment #2: : "Have the serenity to accept the fact that there are things in this world which you cannot change."
What this is saying, is that there are just things in this world that you can't change. You have to realize that what happened, happened. There is no taking it back, what has been said has been said and what has been done has been done. Just accept it and move on. Which leads me to my next commandment...
Commandment #3: "Have the power and strength to change the things you can change."
This means that, although there are things you can't take back, there are still things you can do about it. For example, if you said something hurtful to a best friend (that you only said out of anger), and you later realize that you didn't mean the hurtful comment; Well that is where this Commandment comes into play. Instead of sulking over your losses, you must pick yourself up and do everything in your power to repair that broken bond.
Both of the previous commandments lead to the 4th Commandment, which is: "Have the wisdom to know the difference between the things you can and cannot change."
This can be applied in the previous example: you cannot change what you said, because it has already been said. However, you can do everything in your power to attempt to repair that bond, and it's that wisdom that this commandment refers to.
Commandment #5: "Emotions such as anger, hatred, depression, and sadness prevent you from living life to its fullest potential."
This commandment is a crucial part of the entire piece, because what this is saying is, that all the negative emotions prevent you from taking chances; Because, if you think about it, if you are sad, then you are less likely to do something you've never tried before; like meeting a new person or having a new experience. That person or that experience could change our lives for the better or for the worse, but you'll never know now, because your bad mood prevented you from it. This is why I say that all those negative emotions prevent you from living life fully.
Commandment #6: "Emotions such as happiness, joy, love, and acceptance open the doors to live life fully."
It is a scientific and psychological fact that you are more likely to take chances outside of your "comfort zone" if you have a positive attitude about you. So, the happier you are, the more accepting you are; And the more loving/caring you are, then the better chance you have of living a better, more full, life.
Commandment #7: "Every emotion is a choice, so choose to be happy."
As unbelievable as this sounds, it is true. Every emotion is a choice, made subconsciously by your brain. Given a certain situation or event, you can,however, turn that subconscious choice into a conscious one, by simply being aware of it. What I am saying is that, when faced with a certain event, your brain is processing the initial event; But what you can do is in the conscious part of your brain; You can look at all aspects of a situation, rather than just the initial aspect. And when this is done, you can choose how to react and, if you dont like it, then use Commandments 2-4 to make it better.
Commandment #8: "Know that everything happens for a reason; Even if you don't know that reason right away."
This is saying that nothing is just random; Even if it may seem random at first. For example, if a person close to you dies tomorrow, there was a purpose behind it. Now you may not know why at first, but, if you process it, you'll find that it was simply "their time" ,as it were, and you may ask yourself, "Why?". But, the answer is: "To make you a stronger person" because you don't know what you have until it is gone; So cherish the people in your life to make their loss less painful.
Commandment #9: "Look at every morning with a sense of optimism and the felling that nothing can bring you down."
Have you noticed that the world is very dull and dark with all this negativity around? I don't know about you, but I find it really annoying; It's just getting old to me, and if it is getting old to you as well, then this Commandment is a very refreshing one. Along with every emotion being a choice, you can choose to "wake up on the right side of the bed" everyday and you'll find it's pretty refreshing.
Commandment #10: "Go about your day with a sense of optimism and a smile on your face."
Once you get out of bed and say that nothing can bring you down, it doesn't do anything to just say it; You have to commit to it and stand by it whole-heartedly.
Commandment #11: "Remember that you are NEVER alone; Even if the people you love don't understand what you are going through, they still want to help you. So LET THEM; don't shut them out!"
As sad as this sounds, it is a true statistic: If you see a person crying, 75% of people will not even acknowledge that person; They will simply go about their day. Well, this Commandment is speaking to those 25% of people who will offer a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen. Those are the people you should surround yourself with. You are never alone because it is in the human nature to help someone close to you, so it's true; You are never alone, even if those people don't understand your pain, they are there for support and they are that shoulder to cry on.
Commandment #12: "Even if the people you love are the problem, there is always at least ONE person who want to help you, even if they don't know you all that well."
Again, there are those 25% of people who will offer a shoulder to cry on, so try to find those people; Embrace them and cherish the bond created by that simple gesture.
Commandment #13: "Look at every event as a challenge to overcome."
This is further enforcing #2-4 and #8 by saying that everything happens for a reason; So, if something bad happens, just realize what you can and cannot change, and do what you can to remedy the situation.
THESE NEXT THREE COMMANDMENTS ARE THE THREE MOST CRUCIAL, IN MY OPINION.
Commandment #14: "Do not dwell on the past, for it is full of things you cannot change."
This says that the past is full of things you can't change, so there is no point in wasting years of your life by sulking over them, because it is a proven fact that stress lowers your lifespan and dwelling on the eternal question of "what could I have done differently?" can cause stress. Therefore, you must realize that there is nothing you could've done differently, because it has already happened.
Commandment #15: "Do not look towards the future; Though, be hopeful for it."
This is not saying, "Give up on your future and forget all your plans", this is simply saying that looking towards the future does you no good, because you don't know what it is full of. The Future is full of things you can't change or foresee. However, you can plan for a certain event; Just be aware that things don't always go as expected, so don't shut down and give up, rather, just make do with what you have at your disposal (your resources and environment).
Commandment #16: "LIVE IN THE DAY."
Live life day by day, because you have no idea if today could be your last day on this earth. You could die at any given second, so cherish every second you have, embrace the day, do all you can with the day, and be done with that day to move on to tomorrow.
Commandment #17: "Live everyday like its your last, because it very well could be."
With things such as disease, car accidents, plane crashes, terrorists and serial killers(etc.), it's truly amazing how we manage to stay alive, is it not? I, at least, think so. So, with that being true, you should cherish every second you have of everyday; Just embrace life.
Commandment #18: "Try to love everybody; remember that you are unique, and the people in your life are there for a reason, so embrace them."
You are unique in your own respect, and you are who you are by design (no spirituality intended). The choices you've made make you who you are, and the friends you have admire you for that (the real friends anyway) and will accept you for that, so love those people and try to expand your uniqueness to other people; Hopefully, to make new friends and new people to love.
Commandment #19: "The people who wish to have nothing to do with you are out of luck; Because you are a gift, so don't let the Haters bring you down."
The people who make it their life's goal to hurt you are just out of luck; they don't like you because you are yourself and there is nothing wrong with that. Those people are in your life not to torment you, but to remind you who you are and why you are who you are and even to remind you of the people you love(your friends). They are just reminders to embrace the people you love, and you should cherish them because they accept you for who you truly are.
Commandment #20: "Look at haters as a good thing, because Haters are just confused Admirers. If you do have Haters, that means you have something that the haters envy."
Haters are a great thing, because they try to hurt you for being yourself; Not because they don't like what you have, but in fact the very opposite. They actually crave what you have and are jealous of it, so let them remind you of who you are.
so to conclude, with all these commandments, if followed correctly then everything can work out just fine. To further prove that these commandments work, i have actually been through quite a lot more since this speech was first written; my parents have divorced and my dad has moved out and me and my mother are on food stamps and welfare and my mother is conically depressed and i have been trying to help her.
But here is the amazing thing...today...this day and everyday after this will truly be amazing because i cherish the people in my life everyday and thank god that i have them and as well as the fact that i realize i have it pretty good actually.
I feel as though i need to thank some people;these are the people who were inspiration to create this speech
Kilayne Brown, Molly Madrid, Amber Ryterski, Aaron Marsh, Jeff Olson, Nikki Dell, Chance Dana, And Aimee Stager.
These are the people who truly helped me through my depression and they also helped me create this way of living through experience, thank you all everyone and to whoever took the time to read this speech thank you as well and know that i love you as a person and when you hear this speech i hope this message will reach you.
A large problem with people today is that nobody sees the happy things in their lives. Have you ever found yourself asking: "Where did all the happiness go?"?
The answer is that the happiness has never left; Its always been there. We've just been too blind to see it, even though it has been standing right in front of us.
What I am trying to say is that the people of today are so shrouded in darkness... Wouldn't you agree? With work and co workers, perhaps marital problems, a death or sickness within the family, or maybe just having a "bad day". Well what would you say if I said that I have a way to get rid of all that dark, unpleasant, and just plain negative thinking?
Well, I am here to shed some light on the subject. "How?" you may ask. It's actually quite simple. All you have to do is follow 20 steps and once Ii explain each one, if you truly follow it, you can never have a bad day.
Have you ever noticed people say, "Its not that easy" when you try to cheer them up when they are faced with emotional turmoil? Well, just know that they are lying because it is actually that easy; It just takes some minor attitude adjustments that people just dont want put effort into.
Now I am going to share a story of mine that caused me to create this way of living.
I was 16, and it was the week of the famous Homecoming Dance 2011 and I was with, what I thought, was the girl of my dreams (who will remained unnamed). I had been with this girl for what would've been a year and a half that month, so Ii wanted to make homecoming amazing. Just magical. So I decided to make dinner and dessert for myself and her. Everything was perfect; the dinner was cooked to restaurant standard and the dessert (creme brulee) was moist and subtle. She loved it, and I was proud of myself.
Now, fast forward a tad. I'm at Homecoming and its about halfway through the night. One of our friends had come up to us and told us that she caught her date cheating on her. When I heard this, my first reaction was to talk to him and confront him about how hurt she was, but she didnt want me to; Saying that there was nothing I could do. Hearing this, something snapped in my head and I stormed off, mad at the feeling of helplessness. I had punched a wall on my way out. Little did I know how much of an effect that would have in the near future...
Well about a week later, me and my girl were talking about the whole incident: me punching the wall(She had asked for time to think about it; Hence the time lapse.) and how it had scared her very badly. So, with the abstract, inescapable fear of our relationship turning abusive, she decided to break it off the day before our 1 year-and-a-half anniversary.
When she had delivered this news, I was just completely stunned. I just didn't know what I was going to do without her in my life. So, I sank into a very painful depression...
This would last for two months before I fully recovered; And in those two months, I had attempted Desensitization; trying to rid my body of the emotion known as anger, and, as a result of this depression, I had stopped eating and sleeping almost completely (with about 3 day intervals; Afterward, I would pass out, due to lack of nutrients in the body).
Fast forward again to the day I deem myself back on my feet and ready to face the world. What had caused this was the fact that I'd had a dream the night before, which had shown me a revelation within myself. So, now that I was back on my feet, I still didnt know what I was going to do. But, I knew I had to find a new way of living, because I knew that what I had now was only going to lead to worse things in the future. So, I did some research on how famous philosophers lived and thought: "Maybe I could relate to that and build myself around that". I had found that the writings of Ralph Waldo Emerson and Henry David Thoreau were something I could really connect myself to; A sort of peaceful way of life, in which self acceptance and acceptance for others was the main focus. So, I had sampled their teachings for a few weeks and found that it had made a great deal of sense. So, I created this writing through their teachings, and through experiences I'd had with my friends.
The aforementioned piece is called: The 20 Commandments of Emotional Control
Ok, so Commandment #1: "Don't let the little things bother you."
What this is saying is, that no matter how bad things may seem, they may not be as bad as you are thinking. So, for instance; Say its just a bad day: Its gray and raining, you have a test you didnt study for(that you know your gonna fail). Girls, you can't get your hair to do what you want; And guys, you just can't get that girl you like to talk to you. You can all relate to that, right? Well, here is where this commandment comes into play. All those things can be fixed by simply saying, "Oh Well". Just brush yourself off and move on, because all those things are really nothing to worry about. When you get down to it, that test your going to fail: just take it again; And if you can't, then just make some extra credit. And girls, with the hair: Just try again tomorrow; And for the guys, just relax and try, try again. And as for the rain, well thats just the way the weather works; So instead of letting it bring you down, just run out into it and dance in the rain! It truly is as simple as that; Just look at the things and say, "Oh well" if you can fix it, and, if you can't, that leads to the next three commandments...
For those of you who know the "Serenity Prayer" by Reinhold Niebuhr, that is what these next 3 commandments are about.
So, Commandment #2: : "Have the serenity to accept the fact that there are things in this world which you cannot change."
What this is saying, is that there are just things in this world that you can't change. You have to realize that what happened, happened. There is no taking it back, what has been said has been said and what has been done has been done. Just accept it and move on. Which leads me to my next commandment...
Commandment #3: "Have the power and strength to change the things you can change."
This means that, although there are things you can't take back, there are still things you can do about it. For example, if you said something hurtful to a best friend (that you only said out of anger), and you later realize that you didn't mean the hurtful comment; Well that is where this Commandment comes into play. Instead of sulking over your losses, you must pick yourself up and do everything in your power to repair that broken bond.
Both of the previous commandments lead to the 4th Commandment, which is: "Have the wisdom to know the difference between the things you can and cannot change."
This can be applied in the previous example: you cannot change what you said, because it has already been said. However, you can do everything in your power to attempt to repair that bond, and it's that wisdom that this commandment refers to.
Commandment #5: "Emotions such as anger, hatred, depression, and sadness prevent you from living life to its fullest potential."
This commandment is a crucial part of the entire piece, because what this is saying is, that all the negative emotions prevent you from taking chances; Because, if you think about it, if you are sad, then you are less likely to do something you've never tried before; like meeting a new person or having a new experience. That person or that experience could change our lives for the better or for the worse, but you'll never know now, because your bad mood prevented you from it. This is why I say that all those negative emotions prevent you from living life fully.
Commandment #6: "Emotions such as happiness, joy, love, and acceptance open the doors to live life fully."
It is a scientific and psychological fact that you are more likely to take chances outside of your "comfort zone" if you have a positive attitude about you. So, the happier you are, the more accepting you are; And the more loving/caring you are, then the better chance you have of living a better, more full, life.
Commandment #7: "Every emotion is a choice, so choose to be happy."
As unbelievable as this sounds, it is true. Every emotion is a choice, made subconsciously by your brain. Given a certain situation or event, you can,however, turn that subconscious choice into a conscious one, by simply being aware of it. What I am saying is that, when faced with a certain event, your brain is processing the initial event; But what you can do is in the conscious part of your brain; You can look at all aspects of a situation, rather than just the initial aspect. And when this is done, you can choose how to react and, if you dont like it, then use Commandments 2-4 to make it better.
Commandment #8: "Know that everything happens for a reason; Even if you don't know that reason right away."
This is saying that nothing is just random; Even if it may seem random at first. For example, if a person close to you dies tomorrow, there was a purpose behind it. Now you may not know why at first, but, if you process it, you'll find that it was simply "their time" ,as it were, and you may ask yourself, "Why?". But, the answer is: "To make you a stronger person" because you don't know what you have until it is gone; So cherish the people in your life to make their loss less painful.
Commandment #9: "Look at every morning with a sense of optimism and the felling that nothing can bring you down."
Have you noticed that the world is very dull and dark with all this negativity around? I don't know about you, but I find it really annoying; It's just getting old to me, and if it is getting old to you as well, then this Commandment is a very refreshing one. Along with every emotion being a choice, you can choose to "wake up on the right side of the bed" everyday and you'll find it's pretty refreshing.
Commandment #10: "Go about your day with a sense of optimism and a smile on your face."
Once you get out of bed and say that nothing can bring you down, it doesn't do anything to just say it; You have to commit to it and stand by it whole-heartedly.
Commandment #11: "Remember that you are NEVER alone; Even if the people you love don't understand what you are going through, they still want to help you. So LET THEM; don't shut them out!"
As sad as this sounds, it is a true statistic: If you see a person crying, 75% of people will not even acknowledge that person; They will simply go about their day. Well, this Commandment is speaking to those 25% of people who will offer a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen. Those are the people you should surround yourself with. You are never alone because it is in the human nature to help someone close to you, so it's true; You are never alone, even if those people don't understand your pain, they are there for support and they are that shoulder to cry on.
Commandment #12: "Even if the people you love are the problem, there is always at least ONE person who want to help you, even if they don't know you all that well."
Again, there are those 25% of people who will offer a shoulder to cry on, so try to find those people; Embrace them and cherish the bond created by that simple gesture.
Commandment #13: "Look at every event as a challenge to overcome."
This is further enforcing #2-4 and #8 by saying that everything happens for a reason; So, if something bad happens, just realize what you can and cannot change, and do what you can to remedy the situation.
THESE NEXT THREE COMMANDMENTS ARE THE THREE MOST CRUCIAL, IN MY OPINION.
Commandment #14: "Do not dwell on the past, for it is full of things you cannot change."
This says that the past is full of things you can't change, so there is no point in wasting years of your life by sulking over them, because it is a proven fact that stress lowers your lifespan and dwelling on the eternal question of "what could I have done differently?" can cause stress. Therefore, you must realize that there is nothing you could've done differently, because it has already happened.
Commandment #15: "Do not look towards the future; Though, be hopeful for it."
This is not saying, "Give up on your future and forget all your plans", this is simply saying that looking towards the future does you no good, because you don't know what it is full of. The Future is full of things you can't change or foresee. However, you can plan for a certain event; Just be aware that things don't always go as expected, so don't shut down and give up, rather, just make do with what you have at your disposal (your resources and environment).
Commandment #16: "LIVE IN THE DAY."
Live life day by day, because you have no idea if today could be your last day on this earth. You could die at any given second, so cherish every second you have, embrace the day, do all you can with the day, and be done with that day to move on to tomorrow.
Commandment #17: "Live everyday like its your last, because it very well could be."
With things such as disease, car accidents, plane crashes, terrorists and serial killers(etc.), it's truly amazing how we manage to stay alive, is it not? I, at least, think so. So, with that being true, you should cherish every second you have of everyday; Just embrace life.
Commandment #18: "Try to love everybody; remember that you are unique, and the people in your life are there for a reason, so embrace them."
You are unique in your own respect, and you are who you are by design (no spirituality intended). The choices you've made make you who you are, and the friends you have admire you for that (the real friends anyway) and will accept you for that, so love those people and try to expand your uniqueness to other people; Hopefully, to make new friends and new people to love.
Commandment #19: "The people who wish to have nothing to do with you are out of luck; Because you are a gift, so don't let the Haters bring you down."
The people who make it their life's goal to hurt you are just out of luck; they don't like you because you are yourself and there is nothing wrong with that. Those people are in your life not to torment you, but to remind you who you are and why you are who you are and even to remind you of the people you love(your friends). They are just reminders to embrace the people you love, and you should cherish them because they accept you for who you truly are.
Commandment #20: "Look at haters as a good thing, because Haters are just confused Admirers. If you do have Haters, that means you have something that the haters envy."
Haters are a great thing, because they try to hurt you for being yourself; Not because they don't like what you have, but in fact the very opposite. They actually crave what you have and are jealous of it, so let them remind you of who you are.
so to conclude, with all these commandments, if followed correctly then everything can work out just fine. To further prove that these commandments work, i have actually been through quite a lot more since this speech was first written; my parents have divorced and my dad has moved out and me and my mother are on food stamps and welfare and my mother is conically depressed and i have been trying to help her.
But here is the amazing thing...today...this day and everyday after this will truly be amazing because i cherish the people in my life everyday and thank god that i have them and as well as the fact that i realize i have it pretty good actually.
I feel as though i need to thank some people;these are the people who were inspiration to create this speech
Kilayne Brown, Molly Madrid, Amber Ryterski, Aaron Marsh, Jeff Olson, Nikki Dell, Chance Dana, And Aimee Stager.
These are the people who truly helped me through my depression and they also helped me create this way of living through experience, thank you all everyone and to whoever took the time to read this speech thank you as well and know that i love you as a person and when you hear this speech i hope this message will reach you.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
The King
Once upon a time there was an amazing, handsome young fellow who could hunt, fight, cook, sing, dance and every other thing he was required to do, and he was extremely good at it. Woman, maidens or not, swooned when he came into sight. Even though he was half their age, and he constantly had a young maiden on each of his arms, riding alongside him in his carriage or giddily, as daintily as giddy can be of course, trotting beside him as he strolled through the town, his by blood and by rule. The young man eventually grew to be a fine prince. He loved, hated, went through pain and cried himself to sleep just like any other person would. His heart having been broken many times, he summoned harlets who would only do him the simple pleasure of being in his company for a night, and one night only. He courted the many daughters of Dukes, princesses, queens and others who came to him only for the sacrifice of his kingdom. None lasted longer then a year, as he always found some flaw on the outside or inside. One wasn't his idea of pretty, one had the golden hair of one of his many heartbreaks, and one laughed, talked and generally just made to much noise for him. Under all these excuses, he knew that he could never let anyone except himself know of his pain. Not his family, not whatever petty courtship he was in at the time, not his friends, and especially not his kingdom.
Unable to open his heart to another woman, he grew up a somber, yet quietly powerful king. Blocking his mind of the memories and pain caused by his heartbreaks, he served with grace and poise for many years. His anger and aches eventually built up to where he could not stop the tears when their lovely faces drifted into his mind. Excuses for hiding his face sank into the everyday conversation between the maids and the rest of his castle. As magnificent as it was, the castle was very well known for its nooks and crannies, easily spreading gossip and untrue words through the minds of the royals and the society. One maid felt for the King, as she had seen the wet streaks of tears on his face when he had called on her to bring him water one late night. Feeling the pain of heartache as well, she questioned him about what she had witnessed, and he told her his story. Never having seen a woman so intent on listening, he talked to her as he would a friend, without the usual hostility towards any sort of her gender. Over time the bond grew closer, and when the stress built up, she was there, and the ache started to fade as his floodgates and stone walls came crashing down.
Wars, death, disease and hate spread across the land. The King was still unmarried after many, many years of ruling over his kingdom. So many years, in fact, that soon he would not be able to marry or have children. There had not been so many royal wedding as folks would have wanted, and the happiness in the castle seemed to fade with each passing year, month and day. A royal wedding, many folks said, would brighten up the townspeople's day and bring some hope and the smile of a new face with the delight of a babies laughter into everyones hearts. The people closer to him, and knowing his better, said he could use a woman in his heart, and within his "house." Someone to make him laugh and smile. He resisted, the aversion to woman still strong in his heart. The picking and nagging of his friends, family and country finally got to him, and he married the next harlet who had the pleasure of sharing his bed. As queen, she bore him a son within the next year. Seemingly happy, he smiled and laughed with her, stroked her hair and held her hand. However, only ever truly happy within his dreams, the lives outside of his, happy and whole, haunted him. Once his duty was done he faked his death, releasing himself to live for the first time in his life.
Once the rucus of his "death" blew over, he succumbed to the only thing he had ever wanted to do, but of course had been unable to do it. As King, he had always felt as if everything was handed to him. The ladies of his youth had seen his wealth and looks, given to him by status. The food was handed, literally, on a silver platter. He did not even know from what earth it had been grown in, and it was always tasted first to make sure it wasn't poisoned. The clothing, the richest purple to the shiniest gold, was sewn by maids and tailors. Not out of love by a wife wanting to make her husband happy, but out of force, for money. No one had cared to hand him his dream, and only one person had cared enough to ask him what his dream actually was. That he wanted to watch his own hard work grow up through earth he knew would not contain poison, come home and see a smiling face in the window, filled with love. To wrap HER in his arms everynight and kiss her forehead.
He knew who she was now, the only one who had ever listened to him, and he was free to live his dream. So he did, happily ever after.
>The story behind this is that my boyfriend asked me to tell him a story, and I did :) He said he felt really connected to the King, so I expanded it and put it on here! Enjoy :D<
Unable to open his heart to another woman, he grew up a somber, yet quietly powerful king. Blocking his mind of the memories and pain caused by his heartbreaks, he served with grace and poise for many years. His anger and aches eventually built up to where he could not stop the tears when their lovely faces drifted into his mind. Excuses for hiding his face sank into the everyday conversation between the maids and the rest of his castle. As magnificent as it was, the castle was very well known for its nooks and crannies, easily spreading gossip and untrue words through the minds of the royals and the society. One maid felt for the King, as she had seen the wet streaks of tears on his face when he had called on her to bring him water one late night. Feeling the pain of heartache as well, she questioned him about what she had witnessed, and he told her his story. Never having seen a woman so intent on listening, he talked to her as he would a friend, without the usual hostility towards any sort of her gender. Over time the bond grew closer, and when the stress built up, she was there, and the ache started to fade as his floodgates and stone walls came crashing down.
Wars, death, disease and hate spread across the land. The King was still unmarried after many, many years of ruling over his kingdom. So many years, in fact, that soon he would not be able to marry or have children. There had not been so many royal wedding as folks would have wanted, and the happiness in the castle seemed to fade with each passing year, month and day. A royal wedding, many folks said, would brighten up the townspeople's day and bring some hope and the smile of a new face with the delight of a babies laughter into everyones hearts. The people closer to him, and knowing his better, said he could use a woman in his heart, and within his "house." Someone to make him laugh and smile. He resisted, the aversion to woman still strong in his heart. The picking and nagging of his friends, family and country finally got to him, and he married the next harlet who had the pleasure of sharing his bed. As queen, she bore him a son within the next year. Seemingly happy, he smiled and laughed with her, stroked her hair and held her hand. However, only ever truly happy within his dreams, the lives outside of his, happy and whole, haunted him. Once his duty was done he faked his death, releasing himself to live for the first time in his life.
Once the rucus of his "death" blew over, he succumbed to the only thing he had ever wanted to do, but of course had been unable to do it. As King, he had always felt as if everything was handed to him. The ladies of his youth had seen his wealth and looks, given to him by status. The food was handed, literally, on a silver platter. He did not even know from what earth it had been grown in, and it was always tasted first to make sure it wasn't poisoned. The clothing, the richest purple to the shiniest gold, was sewn by maids and tailors. Not out of love by a wife wanting to make her husband happy, but out of force, for money. No one had cared to hand him his dream, and only one person had cared enough to ask him what his dream actually was. That he wanted to watch his own hard work grow up through earth he knew would not contain poison, come home and see a smiling face in the window, filled with love. To wrap HER in his arms everynight and kiss her forehead.
He knew who she was now, the only one who had ever listened to him, and he was free to live his dream. So he did, happily ever after.
>The story behind this is that my boyfriend asked me to tell him a story, and I did :) He said he felt really connected to the King, so I expanded it and put it on here! Enjoy :D<
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Flawed
Although we seem,
to hate ourselves now,
we all seem to think,
we're all big, fat cows,
We actually just want to be loved, in a way.
Told we aren't fat,
told we can stay.
Flawed and imperfect,
to all of the world.
All we want,
is our toes to be curled.
We want you to love,
all we dislike,
to see it in light,
to see it in sight.
We lift ourselves up,
stand proud and tall,
our chins in the air,
as all our faults stall.
Our hair all done up,
our make-up unflawed,
although later we know,
it will melt within sobs.
Our hair will bun up as we pet our black cats,
we all want a guy,
who will understand that.
to hate ourselves now,
we all seem to think,
we're all big, fat cows,
We actually just want to be loved, in a way.
Told we aren't fat,
told we can stay.
Flawed and imperfect,
to all of the world.
All we want,
is our toes to be curled.
We want you to love,
all we dislike,
to see it in light,
to see it in sight.
We lift ourselves up,
stand proud and tall,
our chins in the air,
as all our faults stall.
Our hair all done up,
our make-up unflawed,
although later we know,
it will melt within sobs.
Our hair will bun up as we pet our black cats,
we all want a guy,
who will understand that.
Catch 22 of Life
Stuck between a rock and a hard place,
mexican standoff,
guns in hand.
Who will shoot first?
Who will crack under the pressure?
Death or cause death,
only options, both unspeakable,
Catch 22 of life.
Stuck between bad and bad,
no wins, only losses,
life flashes,
I am standing by a coffin.
Life flashes,
I am in the limbo,
back to hell or the equivalent?
Heaven is loving.
Catch 22 of life.
Stuck between choices,
choices of hate,
choices of pain.
Of only losses.
Or,
of choices of choosing happiness.
Happiness can be crushed, wrecked,
but not better is the equivalent hells.
Catch 22 of life.
mexican standoff,
guns in hand.
Who will shoot first?
Who will crack under the pressure?
Death or cause death,
only options, both unspeakable,
Catch 22 of life.
Stuck between bad and bad,
no wins, only losses,
life flashes,
I am standing by a coffin.
Life flashes,
I am in the limbo,
back to hell or the equivalent?
Heaven is loving.
Catch 22 of life.
Stuck between choices,
choices of hate,
choices of pain.
Of only losses.
Or,
of choices of choosing happiness.
Happiness can be crushed, wrecked,
but not better is the equivalent hells.
Catch 22 of life.
Friday, December 2, 2011
Funny Stuff
Christmas is coming! My family and many others are so excited. My favorite part of this season is that every kid in the world, whether waiting for Papa Noel, Saint Nick, or Santa, is bouncing in their seats! They're all so excited, and its ADORABLE! Anyways, I discovered something today! Its called "The Urban Dictionary," and its hilarious.
| 1. | Marney | |
Marney is about determination and love. She is
kind, always there for others, and is incredibly beautiful. Marney is a
very strong woman.
An apple of someone's eye.
|
||
| 2. | Marney | |
A girl with a sweet smile and charming
personality that makes every boy's heart race. She's clouded by
innocence and is often found with her head up in the clouds. She always
has a bounce in her step and a happy-go-lucky outlook that seems to make
everyone enjoy her company.
Marney is like the innocent, sweet memories of your childhood.
This is what came up when I put my name in! There are tons of hilarious definitions and videos on here... enjoy!
| ||
Thursday, October 27, 2011
R.I.P. Skipps
Now I lay Skipps to sleep,
I pray the Lord her soul to keep,
and if she hurts,
I know shes safe,
nor now her soul is,
in a better place.
For the tears I cry are not of pain,
but of joy.
For now I know she is okay,
Now she is safe and warm.
No more suffering,
no more pain.
Now she is in a better place.
Of warmth and of happiness.
Her soul is at peace.
But now comes the biggest test,
to show her I am strong.
Not for me,
but for her.
Tell her I love her and its okay.
you are going to a better place.
Now close your eyes,
and rest your soul.
Ill be okay, don't worry about me.
My friend Marissa texted me this today. She was distraught because her pet mouse had died, and she was in pain. There was nothing that could be done for Skipps... So she said a prayer and buried her in her backyard. These texts deserve to be on here, no matter what. They are from her heart and soul... written while tears were coming from her beautiful blue eyes... there isn't anything I can say to make Skipps come back, or replace the love she was given and gave in return, but I can say that I am sorry she had to go so soon, but I am happy shes in a better place :) Pray for Skipps, and her poor innocent soul, to be happy, for my Marissas sake. I love you Marissa. Ill miss you Skipps.
<3 R.I.P Skipps <3
I pray the Lord her soul to keep,
and if she hurts,
I know shes safe,
nor now her soul is,
in a better place.
For the tears I cry are not of pain,
but of joy.
For now I know she is okay,
Now she is safe and warm.
No more suffering,
no more pain.
Now she is in a better place.
Of warmth and of happiness.
Her soul is at peace.
But now comes the biggest test,
to show her I am strong.
Not for me,
but for her.
Tell her I love her and its okay.
you are going to a better place.
Now close your eyes,
and rest your soul.
Ill be okay, don't worry about me.
My friend Marissa texted me this today. She was distraught because her pet mouse had died, and she was in pain. There was nothing that could be done for Skipps... So she said a prayer and buried her in her backyard. These texts deserve to be on here, no matter what. They are from her heart and soul... written while tears were coming from her beautiful blue eyes... there isn't anything I can say to make Skipps come back, or replace the love she was given and gave in return, but I can say that I am sorry she had to go so soon, but I am happy shes in a better place :) Pray for Skipps, and her poor innocent soul, to be happy, for my Marissas sake. I love you Marissa. Ill miss you Skipps.
<3 R.I.P Skipps <3
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Types of Love
-Love-
A strong feeling of personal attachment between friends or family members.
True Love- Total communication and commitment between two people
- Realistic, Does not expect perfection
- Eager to share thoughts, activities
- Think in terms of "we"
Friendly Love- Grows throughout the years
- Neither passionate and consuming or hostile and hurtful
- Usually the base for other relationships
Tender Lover- Happy and satisfying
- Makes people feel warm and happy
Jealous Love- Possesive love
- Jealously a lack of immaturity and insecurity
- Parter keeps other partner very close
- Relationship not able to grow and spread, as well as other relationships.
- Friendships suffer because of it
Passionate Love- Vigorous, insistent and urgent
- Centers on sexual part of relationship
- Often can be selfish with little concern for other partner
- By itself, tempestuous and exhausting
- With other forms of love, exhilarating and fufilling
Hostile Love- Frequently raises voice in anger at other lover
- Emotions of love and hate closely related
- Hurtful and exhausting
Unreturned Love- Unfufilling, Frusturating and Hurtful
Infatuation- Often mistaken for love
- Begins quickly, ends quickly
I Fear
As I learn,
I fear.
I fear the ideas of hate, crime,
death.
I fear the realities of hurricanes,
screams of pain,
of horror.
Water unwelcome,
washing all in bleak blue,
darkness.
Murky, gunk- filled darkness.
As I learn,
I fear.
I fear the guns,
the weapons.
the anger,
through which we pull,
pull the little half moon,
causing pain, death, hate.
Ripping flesh, spraying blood,
what have we not to fear?
As I learn,
I gain strenghth.
I begin to not be afraid,
fear subsiding, hope sustaining.
I will fight for my safety.
Fear will not overcome me.
I will learn,
and I will hope.
I fear.
I fear the ideas of hate, crime,
death.
I fear the realities of hurricanes,
screams of pain,
of horror.
Water unwelcome,
washing all in bleak blue,
darkness.
Murky, gunk- filled darkness.
As I learn,
I fear.
I fear the guns,
the weapons.
the anger,
through which we pull,
pull the little half moon,
causing pain, death, hate.
Ripping flesh, spraying blood,
what have we not to fear?
As I learn,
I gain strenghth.
I begin to not be afraid,
fear subsiding, hope sustaining.
I will fight for my safety.
Fear will not overcome me.
I will learn,
and I will hope.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Pancake Cinnamon Rolls
http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2MI1cg/www.recipegirl.com/2011/03/01/cinnamon-roll-pancakes/
These wonderful creations are called "Cinnamon-Roll Pancakes." I have yet to make them, but I have not looked at one of these pictures without my mouth watering so far, so tommorrow morning scoot yourselves over to my place, cause they'll be there!! Soooo yummmy!
>Ohhhhh myyyyy gooodddd I COULD not resist not sharing this...<
These wonderful creations are called "Cinnamon-Roll Pancakes." I have yet to make them, but I have not looked at one of these pictures without my mouth watering so far, so tommorrow morning scoot yourselves over to my place, cause they'll be there!! Soooo yummmy!
>Ohhhhh myyyyy gooodddd I COULD not resist not sharing this...<
Friday, September 2, 2011
Happiness Quotes
Happiness is a choice. You can choose to be happy or you can focus on the sad things in life.
No one really cares if your miserable, so you might as well be happy!
Real elation is when you feel you could touch a star without standing on tiptoe.
Jumping for joy is good excersise
Misery is always the result of thinking
Unhappiness is not knowing what we want and killing ourselves to get it
Happiness is a function of accepting what is.
Pleasure is very seldom found where it is sought. Our brightest blazes are commonly kindled by unexpected sparks
"Happiness is like a butterfly.
The more you chase it, the more it eludes you.
But if you turn your attention to other things,
It comes and sits softly on your shoulder."
I remember hearing in a talk that the more we express our gratitude to God for our blessings, the more he will bring to our mind other blessings. The more we are aware of to be grateful for, the happier we become."
"To be happy, one must rid oneself of prejudice, be virtuous, healthy, and have a capacity for enjoyment and for passion ..."
A person is never happy except at the price of some ignorance
What would our world be like if we ceased to worry about "right" and "wrong," or "good" and "evil," and simply acted so as to maximize well-being, our own and that of others? Would we lose anything important?
No one is in control of your happiness but you; therefore, you have the power to change anything about yourself or your life that you want to change.
Being happy is something you have to learn. I often surprise myself by saying "Wow, this is it. I guess I'm happy. I got a home I love. A career that I love. I'm even feeling more and more at peace with myself." If there's something else to happiness, let me know. I'm ambitious for that, too.
“Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.”
[Peace] is the highest and most strenuous act of the soul, but an entirely harmonious act, in which all our powers and affections are blending in a beautiful proportion, and sustain and perfect one another. It is more than the silence after storms. It is as the concord of all melodious sounds ... an alliance of love with all beings, a sympathy with all that is pure and happy, a surrender of every separate will and interest, a participation of the spirit and life of the universe.... This is peace, and the true happiness of [humanity]
."Ten Spiritual Tonics
1. Stop worrying. Worry kills life.
2. Begin each day with a prayer. It will arm your soul.
3. Control appetite. Over-indulgence clogs body and mind.
4. Accept your limitations . . .
5. Don't envy. It wastes time and energy.
6. Have faith in people. Cynicism sours the disposition.
7. Find a hobby. It will relax your nerves.
8. Read a book a week to stimulate imagination and broaden your views.
9. Spend some time alone for the peace of solitude and silence.
10. Try to want what you have, instead of spending your strength trying to get what you want."
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Steam
"He needs to blow off some steam." Have you heard this expression before? Most likely you have, usually when someone is angry or frusturated, they are told to go blow off some steam, right? They need to calm down, and there are many different ways of doing this. Some go outside for some fresh air, some need to hit something, and some just need a few deeps breaths and an excellent poker face. What I have observed this past year is violence. Violence, violence, violence. Gangs everywhere, murders, domestic violence everywhere, homicides, serial killers, police brutality. Its everywhere, and a lot of these incidents happen when anger and frustration conquer the mind... that all you can think about is how that person, or thing, should suffer for its mistake, or stupidity. Had many of these people known how to conquer the anger by blowing off steam, by calming down, they would have been able to clearly see the situation, and do something productive, not get there asses thrown in jail or fired. However, another part of the puzzle is that some people have been trained to act with violence. Gang members let their feeling control them, because they have been "trained" to do it. Police officers are trained to use force and violence. They can't let their steam go because they will get hurt without it. Think about it.
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Passion
As tears sting my eyes,
I try not to let you see them,
I try to fake being happy,
fake smiling,
and you just think I am being shy.
I try to hide my emotions,
not let anyone see the real me,
the depressed, lonely, person inside.
I hold myself back,
who am I?
I say I know I am depressed and sad,
but do I really know me?
Can I answer questions with ease still?
Do I know how to take care of myself?
It is hard being me sometimes,
but through surrender and heartache I prevail.
No one loves ME,
the true me,
the one who would let anyone hurt her,
would open up her heart
for friendship and love.
The one who wears her heart on her sleeve.
The one who secretly cries,
not only for herself, but for others to.
The one who cares more then she is willing to admit.
> This applies to almost every girl.. no matter how tough. Not just me, not just the softies... this is every girl. every girl thinks they arent loved, or beautiful, and every girl has some sadness inside.. remember this<
I try not to let you see them,
I try to fake being happy,
fake smiling,
and you just think I am being shy.
I try to hide my emotions,
not let anyone see the real me,
the depressed, lonely, person inside.
I hold myself back,
who am I?
I say I know I am depressed and sad,
but do I really know me?
Can I answer questions with ease still?
Do I know how to take care of myself?
It is hard being me sometimes,
but through surrender and heartache I prevail.
No one loves ME,
the true me,
the one who would let anyone hurt her,
would open up her heart
for friendship and love.
The one who wears her heart on her sleeve.
The one who secretly cries,
not only for herself, but for others to.
The one who cares more then she is willing to admit.
> This applies to almost every girl.. no matter how tough. Not just me, not just the softies... this is every girl. every girl thinks they arent loved, or beautiful, and every girl has some sadness inside.. remember this<
Friday, August 26, 2011
Think
Think before you see,
think before you feel,
think before you act,
think before you steal.
Think before the troubles come,
think before the damage done,
think before you want to act,
think before you go off track.
Think before the tides are high,
think before you want to die.
Think before you push the pills,
think before you do your will.
think before the triggers back,
think before the world goes black.
Think about the life you live,
think about the love you give,
think back to the good times now,
live another day,
here more people say wow!
Cause if you want to do something bad,
think about your actions,
and dont make others sad!
>Ill probably edit this one soon.. kind of a crappy ending but ill get it later after makin up some sleep...<
think before you feel,
think before you act,
think before you steal.
Think before the troubles come,
think before the damage done,
think before you want to act,
think before you go off track.
Think before the tides are high,
think before you want to die.
Think before you push the pills,
think before you do your will.
think before the triggers back,
think before the world goes black.
Think about the life you live,
think about the love you give,
think back to the good times now,
live another day,
here more people say wow!
Cause if you want to do something bad,
think about your actions,
and dont make others sad!
>Ill probably edit this one soon.. kind of a crappy ending but ill get it later after makin up some sleep...<
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Outside
I know what I believe inside,
So why do I not follow my practices outside?
Because insides and outsides are opposite,
different, unable to coexist.
Our beliefs can be expressed,
let in, out, occasionally.
As when a door is opened,
in a house.
The furniture,
beautiful, pristine, unique.
As our beliefs are in our mind.
But what happens when we put our beliefs,
our belongings, outside?
They start perfectly fine,
strong, sturdy, able to withstand.
At first.
They fade fast, tarnishing, dying.
So why do I not follow my practices outside?
Because insides and outsides are opposite,
different, unable to coexist.
Our beliefs can be expressed,
let in, out, occasionally.
As when a door is opened,
in a house.
The furniture,
beautiful, pristine, unique.
As our beliefs are in our mind.
But what happens when we put our beliefs,
our belongings, outside?
They start perfectly fine,
strong, sturdy, able to withstand.
At first.
They fade fast, tarnishing, dying.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)